With Christmas approaches; it could be a good time to pay some attention to what we are most focused on. Is it the thrill of spending some time with your loved ones that is filling you with anticipation or possibly even dread? Or enjoying a seemingly endless round of parties that you are most looking forward to? Perhaps at this moment you are filled with a gnawing panic about how you are going to manage buying all those presents and making sure everyone gets what they want; whilst still being somewhat solvent come January 1st.
This time of year can conjure up such a wide range of emotions in all of us and can often be seen as a burden as much as a time of fun.
What are your thoughts or even fears leading up to this somewhat hectic time? How can you set about making it better for yourself as well as those around you?
The natural law of attraction tells us that we get what we focus on and it certainly seems to be true. Whether you focus on the positive or the negative; that is what you are likely to receive. Sometimes and especially at Christmas we can get caught up in the negative side of things, worrying about spending time with people that we find difficult or having to do things we don’t really want to do. If you focus on the negative feelings that arise and concentrate on all the things that you are not looking forward to then you will automatically feel down and possibly even depressed at the thought of the oncoming holidays. What can you do to make this time more positive?
We all have choices although it can sometimes feel as if we don’t. Effectively, we actually trap ourselves and pass up our power to others, locking ourselves into the situation by not facing up to those choices and taking action for ourselves.
Below are some tips and ideas on re framing your ideas and priorities in order to have a more stress-free time.
Tip 1 – Don’t be afraid to say ‘No’
Work out what you are willing to do and set yourself boundaries. Have a clear idea in your mind what you are willing to do and make a pact with yourself that you will only accept what you are happy with. Be clear to others about what you are available for and don’t allow yourself be pressured into anything that pushes you past your limit. People are more likely to respect your boundaries if you set them out clearly and calmly than if you waver all over the place. If you focus positively on what you are willing to do rather than on what you are not; you will feel more comfortable about turning things down. After all, who really remembers exactly who did what last Christmas?
Tip 2 – Choose your Response
All families have arguments and difficulties. You may not be looking forward to spending time with some of your family and are expecting or dreading certain behavior from others. It’s important to remember that although we may not be able to change other people’s behavior we can choose how we respond. If you know that someone’s behavior is likely to upset you; try not to rise to the situation. Make a positive decision not to respond the way you may have done in the past. This way you are taking responsibility for your half of your emotions.
Tip 3 – Be Realistic
We all have visions of how we would like things to be in our ideal world, especially with the media version of Christmas all around us. Be realistic about what you expect from your Christmas and you are less likely to feel let down. Changing your opinions and beliefs around the event can change your emotions surrounding it. Things may not go exactly as planned but if you are realistic about your expectations you will be more able to deal with issues calmly as they arise.
Tip 4 – What do you appreciate – Focus on the positive
Remind yourself of what you appreciate about certain situations or people. This is a great way of combating the stress that can arise and help you to be more relaxed. When you start to think negatively, counteract the thought with one of gratitude. For example, ‘I may be getting stressed with trying to get the dinner ready on time but I am grateful that we are all together and enjoying ourselves’. Remind yourself of something you are grateful for in direct relation to the thing that is bothering you.
Tip 5 – Take some time for yourself
Plan something into your time just for you. Whether it is some time for a relaxing bath, watching your favourite programme or simply taking some time out to relax. Make sure that you work out the what, why and when and plan it into your time properly. If you know that you are going to get to do what you want, even if only for a short while; you are more likely to feel less stressed about the other things you need to do.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Susan Savery, “Your Success Coach” is founder of Susan Savery Coaching. She is also the author of the FREE monthly publication A Fresh Approach to Life. To create the life and relationships you deserve go to The Fresh Start Programme.
