Why it’s necessary to go no contact when you experience a break –up. Continuing to have contact with an ex, especially in the beginning is the equivalent to picking at a scab. If you keep picking at a scab you stop the wound from healing. When you break up with someone you need time to heal, time to reflect on what has happened and time to prepare yourself for the future. If you are still in contact with them every day then you stop this process, you stay locked in on that relationship and at times, especially if you are the one who has been dumped, basically torture yourself. No contact is a way to close the door on the old relationship and give you breathing space.

It’s never easy when you think about having to start over with something. Especially if it seems like you have to start your whole life over again. I know what that feels like as a few years ago, I had to do exactly that. It felt like there was a mountain in front of me and I was about to climb it in stiletto’s with no safety line. But I was determined that I would climb it and that when I got to the top, the view was going to be great.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in relationships or friendships when we first meet someone, where we find that once the inital phase of meeting someone wears off, there are often things about them or that happen that make us feel uncomfortable or unhappy, yet we fail to do something about it.

Here is a list of traits of the differences between people that are good for us and those that are not, that we could probably all do well to remember at some point or another.

Are you struggling to work out what you want?
Wondering if the grass will be greener on the other side?
or do you need to check whether your decision to stay or go is the right one for you?

During the FREE call last week, with Francine Kaye – The Divorce Dr, Francine took us through a great exercise to work out whether to stay or go, that you can follow along with. Not only that but she also helps you to work out why your relationship might have gone wrong in the first place and what to do once you have made the decision so that you can build a solid platform to move forward.

Do you find yourself obsessing about your ex or the relationship?

Keep rehashing conversations or even arguments in your head and wondering why on earth they couldn’t see or understand things your way?

Or perhaps you are constantly wondering what you did wrong or could have done differently to change the way they feel.
Maybe you spend most of your time making choices and decisions based on what you think their response will be. “If he/ she see me doing this they will realise what they are missing”

It’s quite normal to spend time trying to make sense of things but when it turns into constantly obsessing about your ex then it’s not helping you. It’s only serving to keep you stuck in the past and stopping you from moving on.

FREE TELESEMINAR with Susan Savery and Special Guest Expert Francine Kaye – The Divorce Doctor.

Tuesday 25th August 2009 8.00pm (3.00pm US Eastern)

Do you find yourself in the same types of situations or relationships again and again, or is one of your fears that you don’t want to repeat old patterns and end up in the same situation but with someone new?

Or perhaps you are currently in a relationship and you are wondering why you keep ending up in the same place and going round in circles.

Were you there?

If you missed the Free Call with Confidence Coach Jane Wilmer then don’t worry because I recorded it.

During this call Jane took us through some great ways to start to rebuild your confidence after a breakup and putting yourself First

If you are ready to break through the barriers that have been holding you back and keeping you in the pain of your past relationships and stopping you from living your life the way you really want to, then don’t miss this

If you don’t look after yourself then you won’t have the energy to look after others. It’s a simple as that. Think of the instructions that you get when you are on a flight waiting to take off and the stewardess tells you about the oxygen masks. The first thing that you are told is to put your own mask on before attempting to help anyone else, including children.