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Why it’s necessary to go no contact when you experience a break –up. Continuing to have contact with an ex, especially in the beginning is the equivalent to picking at a scab. If you keep picking at a scab you stop the wound from healing. When you break up with someone you need time to heal, time to reflect on what has happened and time to prepare yourself for the future. If you are still in contact with them every day then you stop this process, you stay locked in on that relationship and at times, especially if you are the one who has been dumped, basically torture yourself. No contact is a way to close the door on the old relationship and give you breathing space.

It’s never easy when you think about having to start over with something. Especially if it seems like you have to start your whole life over again. I know what that feels like as a few years ago, I had to do exactly that. It felt like there was a mountain in front of me and I was about to climb it in stiletto’s with no safety line. But I was determined that I would climb it and that when I got to the top, the view was going to be great.

Do you find yourself obsessing about your ex or the relationship?

Keep rehashing conversations or even arguments in your head and wondering why on earth they couldn’t see or understand things your way?

Or perhaps you are constantly wondering what you did wrong or could have done differently to change the way they feel.
Maybe you spend most of your time making choices and decisions based on what you think their response will be. “If he/ she see me doing this they will realise what they are missing”

It’s quite normal to spend time trying to make sense of things but when it turns into constantly obsessing about your ex then it’s not helping you. It’s only serving to keep you stuck in the past and stopping you from moving on.

If you don’t look after yourself then you won’t have the energy to look after others. It’s a simple as that. Think of the instructions that you get when you are on a flight waiting to take off and the stewardess tells you about the oxygen masks. The first thing that you are told is to put your own mask on before attempting to help anyone else, including children.

There are four stages that a relationship goes through when it starts to go wrong and by recognising what they are you are more able to make changes to what’s going on and be able to do something about it before it’s too late.

Find out what the 4 stages of relationship break down are.

Breaking can be so very hard to do. It’s always difficult when you are coming out of a relationship, especially if it is one that you have been in for a long time. Whether you are the person instigating the split or not, even when you know that splitting up is the best thing for all involved; breaking up can still be a painful and emotional time. According to research there are various stages to the grieving process.